1 00:00:02,711 --> 00:00:04,087 - Uh, what else? 2 00:00:04,212 --> 00:00:05,338 I've seen "Dirty Dancing," like, ten times. 3 00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:06,840 Breaks my heart every time, you know? 4 00:00:06,965 --> 00:00:08,550 - Whoa. - Andy. 5 00:00:08,591 --> 00:00:10,760 - That Swayze sure can dance dirty. 6 00:00:10,885 --> 00:00:12,804 - Don't you have any sunblock? 7 00:00:12,929 --> 00:00:14,431 - No, Walter J has been hoarding it. 8 00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:15,932 You want to worry about a part of my body, 9 00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,559 worry about my eyes. 10 00:00:17,642 --> 00:00:20,061 They're like two flaming meatballs in my skull. 11 00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:22,439 - Last week Andy set sail for the Bahamas 12 00:00:22,605 --> 00:00:24,274 to sell his family's boat, 13 00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:26,401 and he took his brother but not me. 14 00:00:26,484 --> 00:00:28,319 I was kind of sad at first, 15 00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:30,947 but then I remembered that Bob Marley song-- 16 00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:33,867 "No, woman. No cry." 17 00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:35,660 - Check this out. 18 00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,996 Keeps my hair out of my stare, 19 00:00:38,079 --> 00:00:39,706 also helps me combat the glare bear. 20 00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:40,957 That's what I call the sun now. 21 00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:42,375 - Andy, it's Darryl. 22 00:00:42,417 --> 00:00:43,793 Take your drawers off your head. 23 00:00:43,835 --> 00:00:46,880 - [retching] 24 00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:51,176 That happens about five times a day. 25 00:00:51,259 --> 00:00:52,886 Look at this. 26 00:00:52,969 --> 00:00:55,013 "Old Man and the Sea." Finally gonna finish it. 27 00:00:55,096 --> 00:00:57,265 You know, I've started it, like, a thousand times. 28 00:00:57,349 --> 00:00:58,892 What else can I show you? 29 00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:02,896 Uh, over here is my trusty console. 30 00:01:02,979 --> 00:01:05,065 Check out my trusty comp. 31 00:01:05,106 --> 00:01:07,901 - Uh, Andy, why is it pointed north? 32 00:01:07,984 --> 00:01:10,445 At no time should you be travelling north. 33 00:01:10,528 --> 00:01:12,113 - Relax, Pam. That thing's been broken 34 00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:14,908 for days 'cause I was using it as a bongo. 35 00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,660 ? Jah-min' with the glare bear, mahn ? 36 00:01:17,702 --> 00:01:19,120 ? Jah-min' ? 37 00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:21,289 ? Jah-min' with the care bear ? 38 00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:23,041 What else can I show you? 39 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:24,793 [splashes] Oh, damn it! 40 00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:28,797 - Oh, Andy, was--was that your drinking water? 41 00:01:28,838 --> 00:01:30,465 - Yeah, it was. That's okay, though. 42 00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:34,177 I got this cool desalinator device. 43 00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:36,596 It sucks up seawater through this hose 44 00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:38,139 and pumps out freshwater. 45 00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:40,350 See, check it out. 46 00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:41,726 Ow! 47 00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:42,936 - Oh! - Oh, no. 48 00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:45,689 - Ah. That's not good. 49 00:01:45,730 --> 00:01:47,065 I better sign off. 50 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,692 I hate to get going. 51 00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:50,443 I mean, these Skype sessions are, like, the only thing 52 00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:51,986 that keep me sane out here, you know? 53 00:01:52,153 --> 00:01:54,489 [laughs crazily] 54 00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:59,577 - He's been sailing for two days. 55 00:01:59,744 --> 00:02:01,246 - I will leave you with this, 56 00:02:01,329 --> 00:02:03,873 the image of a man and his boat. 57 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,875 Burn this into your brains. 58 00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:07,043 - [laughs] Yeah. 59 00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:09,421 - No, no. No! No! 60 00:02:11,506 --> 00:02:12,757 - Andy? 61 00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:16,678 - Oh! - Oh, my God. 62 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:17,846 Andy? 63 00:02:17,929 --> 00:02:21,516 Andy! Andy! 64 00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:23,727 Oh. 65 00:02:23,768 --> 00:02:25,311 - He's doing great. 66 00:02:26,604 --> 00:02:29,566 [cheerful music] 67 00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:36,698 {\an8}? ? 68 00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:50,587 {\an8}- See? I knew it. 69 00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:52,881 {\an8}I already feel stupid. 70 00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:54,382 {\an8}I'm returning it. I'm returning it. 71 00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:55,675 {\an8}- All right. 72 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,260 {\an8}Well, you gave it your best shot, corporal. 73 00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:59,054 {\an8}[telephone rings] 74 00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:00,638 {\an8}- Dwight Schrute. 75 00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:04,642 {\an8}Well, hi, there, David Wallace. 76 00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:07,687 {\an8}Why would you ever call me when the manager's out of town? 77 00:03:07,812 --> 00:03:09,773 {\an8}- Well, I have some very exciting news. 78 00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:12,442 {\an8}- And you didn't call Jim. That seems significant. 79 00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:13,735 {\an8}- Hey, David. - Jim, good. 80 00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,653 {\an8}You should hear this too. - Uh, no, he shouldn't. 81 00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:17,072 {\an8}Wha--Ji-- 82 00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:18,698 {\an8}- Go ahead, David. I'm listening. 83 00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:20,533 {\an8}- No--I--okay, David, I'm gonna take you off speaker, 84 00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:23,536 {\an8}but I don't know where I'd put you. 85 00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:25,538 {\an8}- Guys, listen, this is big news. 86 00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:28,249 {\an8}The Scranton White Pages just got in contact with my office. 87 00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:30,168 {\an8}They have apparently dropped their supplier 88 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,379 {\an8}for the last ten years. 89 00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:34,255 {\an8}- The White Pages. 90 00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,508 {\an8}The White Pages. Do you want it? No. 91 00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:37,926 {\an8}Do you use it? No. 92 00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:39,094 {\an8}Does it inexplicably show up 93 00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:40,512 {\an8}on your doorstep three times a year? 94 00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:43,014 {\an8}Yes, yes, and yes. 95 00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:45,100 {\an8}There is a reason we in the paper industry 96 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:48,853 {\an8}call this thing "the white whale." 97 00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:52,440 {\an8}Look at all that sweet blubber. 98 00:03:52,524 --> 00:03:54,192 {\an8}- Look, we need our top salesman 99 00:03:54,275 --> 00:03:57,320 {\an8}running point on this, and, Dwight, that is you. 100 00:03:57,404 --> 00:04:00,615 {\an8}- I'm gonna need to put you on hold for a second. 101 00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:02,450 {\an8}[telephone beeps] Ha! 102 00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:04,494 {\an8}Yeah! Whoo! 103 00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:08,289 {\an8}Eat it, Jim! Eat it, Phyllis! Eat-- 104 00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:10,750 {\an8}where's Stanley? - He's in the bathroom. 105 00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:12,127 {\an8}- Will you run to the bathroom and tell him to eat it? 106 00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:14,087 {\an8}- Of course. 107 00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:16,381 {\an8}- Yeah! Okay. [clears throat] 108 00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:17,549 {\an8}Hey, David. I'm back. 109 00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:19,217 {\an8}- Eat it, Stanley! 110 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,136 {\an8}- So, uh, last I remember, 111 00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:23,138 {\an8}Tom Peterman was in charge of that account. 112 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,348 {\an8}- No, my assistant spoke to the receptionist over there. 113 00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:27,934 {\an8}It's someone new, but she didn't catch her name. 114 00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:29,519 {\an8}- "Her" name? 115 00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:32,188 {\an8}- No. Hey, Dwight shouldn't-- - [grunting] 116 00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:34,524 {\an8}Thanks, David. Thank you so much for calling me today. 117 00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:36,067 {\an8}- Good luck. - Good luck to you. 118 00:04:36,151 --> 00:04:37,569 {\an8}- Dwight, you can't go. 119 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:39,738 {\an8}You have a problem with women. You can't sell to them. 120 00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:41,781 {\an8}- That is a damnable lie. I love women. 121 00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:44,868 {\an8}- Gina Rogers at Apex Technology said 122 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:47,537 {\an8}you called her "Gyna" for your entire meeting. 123 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:49,664 {\an8}- Ew. 124 00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:51,416 {\an8}That's not good. 125 00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:53,877 {\an8}- Yeah. She said she corrected him five times. 126 00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:55,670 {\an8}- Gyna said that? 127 00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:57,881 {\an8}- You really think that could be a woman's name? 128 00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,632 {\an8}- Well, why not? We name boys Peter. 129 00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:01,551 {\an8}The most popular Asian boys' name? 130 00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:02,719 {\an8}Wang? 131 00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:04,471 {\an8}- You make women feel uncomfortable. 132 00:05:04,512 --> 00:05:06,264 {\an8}- Come on. That is so not true. 133 00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:10,352 {\an8}Angela, when we would have meetings in the warehouse, 134 00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:12,062 {\an8}did I make you feel uncomfortable? 135 00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,813 {\an8}- Those meetings were very brief. 136 00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:15,690 {\an8}Boring even. 137 00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:16,733 {\an8}- I remember them being-- 138 00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:17,901 {\an8}- Well, they weren't. 139 00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:19,527 {\an8}- Very exciting and very long. 140 00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:22,781 {\an8}- Hey, you told Rebecca at Rydell Tires 141 00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:24,616 {\an8}that she had horse teeth. - Compliment. 142 00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,409 {\an8}She could eat a coconut like it was an apple. 143 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:27,952 {\an8}- You don't see where that can be insulting? 144 00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:31,206 {\an8}- In what universe is horse teeth an insult? 145 00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:33,249 {\an8}- Guys, we can't let Dwight blow this. 146 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,669 {\an8}An account this size could double our growth. 147 00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:38,046 {\an8}That means raises, bonuses... 148 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,423 pizza Friday could come back. 149 00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,717 - Hey, remember that week in the '90s when we got bagels? 150 00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:44,386 - [sighs] I miss Clinton. 151 00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:46,054 - Can you go instead? - I can't. 152 00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:48,640 I have the thing. 153 00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:50,433 I have this conference call today 154 00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:52,560 with this company in Philly that I'm helping start-- 155 00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:54,479 first board meeting, 156 00:05:54,562 --> 00:05:56,898 also the first time I've ever been excited about work, 157 00:05:57,023 --> 00:06:00,944 so that feels... wrong. 158 00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:02,737 - Will you at least practice with us at lunch? 159 00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:05,198 Maybe we could give you some last-minute pointers. 160 00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:06,783 - Oh, great. 161 00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:08,535 Pointers from the office women. 162 00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:10,578 - Right. So are you going to do it or not? 163 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:14,416 - I said "great." 164 00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:17,627 - Okay, calm down. 165 00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:19,504 It's just me, not Tom Selleck. 166 00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:21,798 [laughter] - Nice. 167 00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:25,176 - Toby got us all to participate in "Movember." 168 00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:27,470 It's a charity for prostate cancer. 169 00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:29,180 You pledge money, and then you grow a mustache 170 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:30,807 for the month of November. 171 00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,934 - So this is how we look now. 172 00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:36,104 I hope you like being turned on all the time. 173 00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:37,814 - You know, Selleck's stache is fake. 174 00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:39,149 - What? - What? 175 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:42,318 - Yeah. I know the guy who makes his nose wigs. 176 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,988 Pure, farm-raised chinchilla. 177 00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:46,781 - Whoa. 178 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:49,784 - Damn! It just keeps on coming, huh? 179 00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:52,537 - I have very fertile hair glands. 180 00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:57,000 I am so glad I got all of the dudes to do "Movember." 181 00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:59,419 We have the dopest time back in the annex. 182 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,046 - God! 183 00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:03,923 - We even go to lunch, pick up babes. 184 00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,759 Smile if you love men's prostates. 185 00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:12,390 - Hi. - Hi. 186 00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:14,100 - Spring cleaning? 187 00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:15,977 - More like fall cleaning. [chuckles] 188 00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,815 - I think the Senator is having an affair. 189 00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:22,400 [clattering] 190 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,403 - This doesn't-- 191 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,697 I'm sorry. Wha--what? 192 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:30,575 - I think the Senator is having an affair. 193 00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,660 - I literally have nightmares 194 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:35,830 in which what just happened happens. 195 00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:38,583 I wake up in a sweat. 196 00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:41,670 And then I make Angela's husband spoon me back to bed. 197 00:07:43,755 --> 00:07:46,633 I am one cold mother[bleep]. 198 00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:48,343 - When he comes home in the morning, 199 00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:50,261 he has this secret little smile. 200 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:52,514 - Oh, I'm... - [sighs] 201 00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:54,432 - Sure that's nothing. 202 00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:56,434 - And he's always at the yoga studio. 203 00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:58,770 He never misses the noon class. 204 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,730 It's hot yoga with Blake. 205 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,233 - Angela, Blake's also a guy's name, 206 00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:05,193 so he may be spending his afternoons 207 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:06,778 with a guy named Blake. 208 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,780 So nothing to worry about. 209 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,366 Huh. 210 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:12,659 I am not suspicious. 211 00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:15,537 He's not the cheating type. 212 00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:17,580 I can't believe I just said that. 213 00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:20,083 Blake. Who is Blake? 214 00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:21,918 - I don't know. 215 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,586 - I just never heard about the Senator and yoga... 216 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,588 - Right. - From you. 217 00:08:25,714 --> 00:08:28,216 I'm sure it's probably nothing. 218 00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:29,551 But what's with the yoga already? 219 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:30,677 - Right? - And Blake. 220 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:32,095 - Right? - All right, Angela, calm down. 221 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,263 - Okay. 222 00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:34,514 - We need to go and check this out. 223 00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:36,349 - What? - Angela, I'll go with you. 224 00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,270 - So, uh, show us how you'd normally sell 225 00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:41,855 to a female client. 226 00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:43,732 - Okay. With pleasure. 227 00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:45,942 Time to learn a few new tricks, old dog. 228 00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,736 - You got this, Schrute. - Okay. 229 00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:49,738 - You just walked into her office... 230 00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,114 and begin. 231 00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:53,283 - Hello. - Hello. 232 00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,035 - May I please speak to your boss? 233 00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:56,369 - No, she is the boss. - I am? 234 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:57,829 - Yes. 235 00:08:57,912 --> 00:08:59,247 - [clears throat] 236 00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:00,373 [deep voice] Hi. I'm Mr. Hannon. 237 00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:01,458 How can I help you? 238 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,418 - Okay, this isn't working for me, 239 00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:05,003 'cause no one would ever believe 240 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,463 that she would be a boss. 241 00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:08,131 - He's absolutely right. I'm really struggling here. 242 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:10,008 - Oh, I'll be the buyer. 243 00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:11,301 - [sighs] Okay. 244 00:09:11,343 --> 00:09:12,594 [clears throat] 245 00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:14,054 - I can't count the number of times 246 00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:16,431 Dwight has invaded my space. 247 00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:19,434 Insulted my body and complimented my body, 248 00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:21,478 which in its own way felt like an insult. 249 00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:24,314 Sure, I want him to make the sale. 250 00:09:24,356 --> 00:09:28,485 But more than that, I hope I can save just one woman 251 00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:31,446 from being complimented on her piggish cunning. 252 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,824 Hello, Mr. Schrute. Nice to see you. 253 00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:36,284 Please have a seat. 254 00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:38,411 - I never sit down during sales meetings. 255 00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:40,705 I want to appear aggressive, imposing. 256 00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:43,041 I am going to sell to you in 12 minutes. 257 00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:44,793 - No, actually, she'd like to take her time 258 00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:46,503 discussing her needs. 259 00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:49,631 - I will tell her what her needs are and then fill them. 260 00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:51,299 This is gonna work out best for you 261 00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:54,052 if you just relax and do nothing. 262 00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:57,931 And once I'm finished, it's over. 263 00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:01,017 - Okay, let's stop here. Anyone have any thoughts? 264 00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:02,477 - I thought it went great. 265 00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,688 - I have, uh, written down a few questions. 266 00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,731 One: have you ever killed a woman? 267 00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:08,692 How many women have you killed? 268 00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:12,237 Please, sir, will you not kill me? 269 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,239 I just want to make it clear that Dwight would never 270 00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:16,574 willingly hurt a woman. 271 00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:18,952 Although, if she steps into one of his booby traps, 272 00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:20,328 that's on her. 273 00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:26,626 - Okay, let's get started. - Okay, cool. We all on? 274 00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:28,420 - Uh, well, you're the only one on. 275 00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:30,505 We're all here. 276 00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:32,173 - Right. [chuckles] 277 00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:34,342 Okay, uh, over the next three months... 278 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,677 - That's the winter season. - I, uh-- 279 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,053 - Three months. 280 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,638 - [whispering] I, uh... 281 00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:40,181 I had some ideas, actually. 282 00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,891 - Are you in your office right now? 283 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,435 - [chuckles] Yeah. 284 00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:45,353 Trust me, I'd rather be with you guys. 285 00:10:45,437 --> 00:10:47,230 - Okay. [laughs] 286 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:48,398 Yeah, it's sounding kind of spooky-sexy 287 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:49,733 over here, Halpert. 288 00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:50,859 - [normal voice] Oh. 289 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,360 [clears throat, deep voice] Sorry. I-I, uh-- 290 00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:53,820 I was saying that you should probably just call me-- 291 00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:55,405 - Whoa. That's-- [laughs] 292 00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:57,032 I think there's, uh--I think there's been a mistake. 293 00:10:57,115 --> 00:10:59,534 We're trying to reach Jim Halpert, not Batman. 294 00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:01,661 - [laughs] - [chuckles] 295 00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:02,912 - [normal voice] Um, you know what? 296 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,372 I should've just had-- 297 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:05,957 I should've just had you call me on my cell. 298 00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:07,917 I'll--I'm gonna try a different spot, okay? 299 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,003 - Okay. Yeah. - I'll call you right back. 300 00:11:10,128 --> 00:11:12,464 - What's happening in three months? 301 00:11:12,547 --> 00:11:14,466 - Okay, when you're selling to women, 302 00:11:14,549 --> 00:11:17,344 it is crucial that you listen, Dwight. 303 00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:21,431 Also, you want to respect their... 304 00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:23,099 are you listening now? 305 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,642 - Yes. 306 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,061 - Okay, well, you have to show us. 307 00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:27,479 - That's impossible. 308 00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,397 Listening happens in the ear and in the brain. 309 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,149 I mean, some organisms have external hairs 310 00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:34,277 that vibrate to indicate auditory stimulation, 311 00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:37,739 but unfortunately, our external hairs don't vibrate at all. 312 00:11:37,781 --> 00:11:39,949 - Huh. Uh-huh. 313 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,910 - What are you doing? 314 00:11:41,993 --> 00:11:45,580 - A little smile and a nod shows that I hear you. 315 00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:47,749 Got it? - Kind of. 316 00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:49,250 - Nellie, why don't you tell Dwight 317 00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:50,710 what we were doing earlier today, 318 00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:52,420 and, Dwight, you show us that you're listening. 319 00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:54,547 - Well, we were in the warehouse, 320 00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:56,257 where we were discussing the mural 321 00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:58,051 that I've commissioned Pam to paint there. 322 00:11:58,176 --> 00:11:59,803 We were talking about the color schemes 323 00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,680 and the major themes we want to hit-- 324 00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:04,557 children of the world coming together, 325 00:12:04,599 --> 00:12:07,060 cutting down trees to make paper. 326 00:12:07,102 --> 00:12:09,562 But not in a child labor-y way. 327 00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:11,272 - It's just up and down... 328 00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,108 just a regular nod, like a person. 329 00:12:13,191 --> 00:12:14,442 - I am a person. 330 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:15,860 - Yes. - Of course. You're a person. 331 00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:17,404 - Yeah. - We can do this, all right? 332 00:12:17,529 --> 00:12:19,155 And then we thought we'd... 333 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:20,532 I can't. I just-- 334 00:12:20,615 --> 00:12:21,950 I can't carry on with that face. 335 00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:23,952 Look at it. I'm gonna get nightmares with that face. 336 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,787 I mean, he looks like he's laboring 337 00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:28,665 over a stool, having just eaten human flesh. 338 00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:30,208 - That's a bit extreme. 339 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,626 - I'm s--I'm sorry, but that is true. 340 00:12:31,710 --> 00:12:33,503 - He's screwed. The meeting's in less than an hour. 341 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,213 - Oh, all right. God, Dwight. 342 00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:36,881 Uh, just ignore every instinct you have. 343 00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:39,259 It's all garbage, okay? 344 00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:41,928 You're the woman. I'm the salesman. 345 00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:44,264 Watch what I do and try to learn. 346 00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:45,557 - [soft voice] Okay, I'm the woman. 347 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:46,850 I'm a woman. Good? 348 00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,435 - Okay. - No. 349 00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:50,687 - Miss Thomas, so good to see you. 350 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:51,980 - Hello. 351 00:12:52,063 --> 00:12:53,857 - Oh, are those your kids? They're so cute. 352 00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,567 They could be models. 353 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,277 - Thank you. I'm so proud of them. 354 00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,863 I carried each one of them for nine months 355 00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:02,866 inside of my torso and then pushed them out of my vagina. 356 00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:05,410 - Boo. Weird. - No. 357 00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:07,829 - Okay, well, this is a lost cause. 358 00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:09,289 He's hopeless. 359 00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:10,874 - Ten years ago, I didn't care 360 00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:14,127 if Dwight got married or died a beet-farming bachelor. 361 00:13:14,252 --> 00:13:16,671 But having kids makes you so soft. 362 00:13:16,755 --> 00:13:18,715 I used to watch "Pulp Fiction" and laugh, 363 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:22,344 and now I'm like, "That poor gimp is somebody's child." 364 00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,095 You're gonna lose this sale, Dwight. 365 00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:25,847 - What do women like, Pam? 366 00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:27,390 - Lots of things. 367 00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,309 - Do they like pizza? 368 00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:31,227 - A lot of them like pizza. 369 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,605 Yes, a lot of them do. 370 00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:35,774 - Do they like lasagna? 371 00:13:35,857 --> 00:13:38,068 - Yeah, a lot of them like lasagna. 372 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,195 - Do they like rigatoni? 373 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,530 - Yes? 374 00:13:44,115 --> 00:13:45,992 - Thanks for riding backup. 375 00:13:46,076 --> 00:13:49,079 We'll bring this sale home. 376 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,373 - You know, I think there could be a lot of benefits 377 00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:52,957 if you could learn to get along with women. 378 00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,834 - Look, I have no problem with women. 379 00:13:54,918 --> 00:13:57,420 It's businesswomen and their-- their power suits 380 00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:59,964 and their shoulder pads. 381 00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:01,800 Don't lie about your shoulders. 382 00:14:01,883 --> 00:14:03,718 - Dwight, listen to me. 383 00:14:03,802 --> 00:14:07,889 Businesswomen are just normal, nice, reasonable people. 384 00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:12,102 Who's a nice, reasonable person in your experience? 385 00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:15,605 - I had a barber once who used to comb my hair gently. 386 00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:18,024 - Okay, so, when you're selling to this woman, 387 00:14:18,108 --> 00:14:21,569 just imagine she's that nice, reasonable barber. 388 00:14:21,653 --> 00:14:24,948 - Okay, I can do that. - Mm-hmm. Good. Baby steps. 389 00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:26,533 - He used to fight dogs. 390 00:14:28,243 --> 00:14:30,704 - Like, he used to make dogs fight, 391 00:14:30,787 --> 00:14:32,539 or he actually fought dogs? 392 00:14:32,664 --> 00:14:34,582 - Little of this, little of that. 393 00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:39,170 - Which one is the instructor? 394 00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:41,548 They're all fatties. 395 00:14:41,673 --> 00:14:42,757 - Angela, Angela. - [gasps] 396 00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:44,092 What? Where? 397 00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,468 - Stairs, the stairs. - Oh, my God. 398 00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:46,761 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 399 00:14:46,845 --> 00:14:48,680 - Oh, so wait. 400 00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:50,473 Blake is a her. 401 00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:52,142 - Oh, my God. 402 00:14:52,267 --> 00:14:54,519 She's so stunningly tiny. 403 00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:57,147 Thimble for a washbasin, that one. 404 00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,940 [gasps] 405 00:14:59,024 --> 00:15:00,525 Oh. 406 00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:01,901 Oh, God. It's her. 407 00:15:02,027 --> 00:15:03,611 It's her. - No, no, no, no. Look. 408 00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:05,989 Look how bored the Senator is when she touches him. 409 00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:09,951 - That is what he looks like in the throes of passion. 410 00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:13,538 She's like a petite double zero for sure, for sure. 411 00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:16,666 Holy cow, look at what they're doing. 412 00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:19,377 - She's repositioning his hips for downward-facing dog. 413 00:15:19,461 --> 00:15:21,755 - [gasps] I've heard of this-- 414 00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:23,673 dog style. 415 00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:25,884 Oh, wait. Oh, look, Oscar. 416 00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:28,428 [gasps] Thumbelina has a boyfriend. 417 00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:30,555 And he has a ponytail? Ew. 418 00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:32,849 I'd like to see that run for office. 419 00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:34,476 Oscar, you were right. 420 00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:35,894 I had nothing to be worried about. 421 00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:37,729 Thank you. Let's go. Let's go. 422 00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:39,064 - No, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - Ow. 423 00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:40,315 - Shut up. Hold on, hold on, hold on. 424 00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:42,692 Shh. Just--sorry. 425 00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:44,694 Look. 426 00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:47,405 [heavy metal music playing] 427 00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:49,574 - Make the sale! Make the sale! 428 00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:51,785 Make the sale! Make the sale! 429 00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:53,578 ? ? 430 00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:54,788 [button clicks] 431 00:15:54,913 --> 00:15:56,122 [gentle acoustic music playing] 432 00:15:56,247 --> 00:15:59,709 - ? I wished upon a star ? 433 00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:03,546 ? That I wanna be with you ? 434 00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:07,717 ? ? 435 00:16:07,842 --> 00:16:09,010 ? Now I-- ? 436 00:16:11,012 --> 00:16:12,180 - [inhales deeply] 437 00:16:12,263 --> 00:16:14,182 Smell that, Pam? 438 00:16:14,265 --> 00:16:16,601 That's phonebook. 439 00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:18,812 Weak men can't lift it; 440 00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:21,147 strong men can't rip it in half. 441 00:16:21,272 --> 00:16:24,609 Now you and I are gonna sell to it. 442 00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,450 - [imitates missile whistling] - Oh. 443 00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:34,869 - This is fun. - Oh-- 444 00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:35,870 - You know? 445 00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:38,123 This is fun. 446 00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:39,582 Well, damn it. 447 00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:42,377 I'm so glad I introduced Movember to this office. 448 00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:44,129 - I had a mustache once. 449 00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:46,715 My lady friends called it the Tickler, 450 00:16:46,798 --> 00:16:48,925 'cause I'd stick it right in their armpits. 451 00:16:49,050 --> 00:16:50,927 - Ooh, Stanley. 452 00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:52,554 Growing the mustache too. 453 00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:54,931 Stache power. 454 00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:58,518 - People don't realize I've had this mustache for years. 455 00:16:58,601 --> 00:17:02,564 I've gotten $160 in pledges. 456 00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:04,774 - What I was saying is the genius of Air Jordan 457 00:17:04,899 --> 00:17:07,110 was not in the market saturation, it was in-- 458 00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:08,653 [saw buzzing] Uh... 459 00:17:08,737 --> 00:17:10,488 - It was what? - Sorry, um... 460 00:17:10,572 --> 00:17:12,449 - Jim, we're having a lot of trouble hearing you. 461 00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:15,243 - The--the--the--what I was saying is the real genius was-- 462 00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:17,078 [car alarm blaring] 463 00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:18,788 - Hey! Are those skateboarders back? 464 00:17:18,913 --> 00:17:21,166 - Jim? Jim, are you there? - Where are they? 465 00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:22,375 - It was, uh... - Little punks. 466 00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:24,252 - It was in the authentic design, right? 467 00:17:24,336 --> 00:17:25,879 So, I mean, you really felt like Michael Jordan 468 00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:27,339 was wearing these shoes-- - Jim! 469 00:17:27,422 --> 00:17:29,090 Who was messing with my van? - Nobody! 470 00:17:29,174 --> 00:17:31,426 - Jordan wore them for nobody? - No, no, no... 471 00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,094 - We're not following you, Halpert. 472 00:17:33,178 --> 00:17:35,388 - This ends now! 473 00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:39,392 - Have a seat. Um, she will be right in. 474 00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:40,894 - Oh, great. Oh, I'm sorry. 475 00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:42,062 Do you mind telling me her name? 476 00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:43,605 I realized we don't have it. 477 00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:47,942 - Uh, she'll be right in. - Okay, great. 478 00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:50,278 - She--okay. 479 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:53,615 - Just a little off the top and then a nice combing. 480 00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:58,203 Yeah. Just comb it. 481 00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:08,505 - Oh, my God. 482 00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:11,049 It's Jan. 483 00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:13,968 - Oh, dear God in heaven. 484 00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,556 - Jan used to be one of my superiors, 485 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,475 and she is one of the most erratic 486 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,811 and terrifying people I have ever met. 487 00:18:22,894 --> 00:18:24,062 [glass shatters] 488 00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:26,773 - You son of a bitch. 489 00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:28,108 You're firing me? - I'm in an interview. 490 00:18:28,191 --> 00:18:29,651 - Where the hell do you get off? 491 00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:31,027 - Jim and I are pretty sure she had an affair 492 00:18:31,069 --> 00:18:32,445 with her ex-assistant Hunter. 493 00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:33,905 He was 17. 494 00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:36,491 But she looks great. 495 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:39,327 If she asks, will you tell her I said that? 496 00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,621 [whispering] Forget everything we taught you. 497 00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:48,712 - Hey, Jan! It's so great to see you. 498 00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:50,505 - Where's Wallace? - What? 499 00:18:50,588 --> 00:18:52,632 - I was under the impression David Wallace would be coming. 500 00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:54,175 He bought back Dunder Mifflin, correct? 501 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,553 - Hey. 502 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,596 Your daughter could be a bubble-bath model. 503 00:18:58,722 --> 00:19:01,182 I could just bite her head off. 504 00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:02,892 [laughs] 505 00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:06,521 - Sorry. Um, David is in Vermont. 506 00:19:06,604 --> 00:19:08,523 Did you speak with him? He sent Dwight instead. 507 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:11,067 - Molly! 508 00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:13,778 David Wallace is in Vermont. 509 00:19:13,862 --> 00:19:16,531 - Oh, my God. Um, I talked to his assistant. 510 00:19:16,573 --> 00:19:18,158 And I guess it did get a little confusing 511 00:19:18,241 --> 00:19:20,076 'cause you said not to tell anyone your name. 512 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,704 And then also, these Bluetooths are very hard to hear with. 513 00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:24,289 I know you love the way they look, 514 00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:26,666 but Tom never had us use them-- - Molly. 515 00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:29,711 I am not Tom. I am Jan. 516 00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:31,546 - [tearfully] I'm so sorry, Jan. 517 00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:37,218 - Anyway... 518 00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:40,764 I thought it would be fun to have a little chat 519 00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:43,933 with, uh, David Wallace after all these years. 520 00:19:44,059 --> 00:19:45,894 Oh, well. 521 00:19:48,646 --> 00:19:49,939 What are you doing? 522 00:19:49,981 --> 00:19:51,191 - Listening. 523 00:19:51,316 --> 00:19:52,400 - Stop. Stop that. - Sorry. 524 00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:53,693 Okay. 525 00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:57,364 - So this was all just a trick. 526 00:19:57,489 --> 00:19:59,115 You don't really have any business to give? 527 00:19:59,157 --> 00:20:01,117 - No, I-I do. 528 00:20:01,159 --> 00:20:02,660 - But not to us. 529 00:20:02,786 --> 00:20:05,747 - Insightful, Pam. 530 00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:07,624 - You did good, Dwight. It's okay. 531 00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:09,542 Seriously, Jan's not normal. Let's just go. 532 00:20:09,626 --> 00:20:11,753 She's not gonna sell to us. 533 00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:13,963 - Yes, she is. 534 00:20:14,089 --> 00:20:16,091 Now, I may not have any instincts with women, 535 00:20:16,174 --> 00:20:18,301 but I have an instinct for sales. 536 00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:20,428 You keep her occupied. I'll be right back. 537 00:20:20,512 --> 00:20:21,846 - What? - [growls] 538 00:20:21,971 --> 00:20:23,306 - Pam. - Yeah. 539 00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:25,767 - I'm a very busy woman, so... - Yeah, um... 540 00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:29,020 do you have any other pictures of Astrid? 541 00:20:29,104 --> 00:20:31,064 - Fine. I will show you one... 542 00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:32,399 slideshow. 543 00:20:32,524 --> 00:20:34,818 "Cowgirl's Third Thanksgiving" 544 00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:38,071 or "Around the World in 80 Birthday Presents?" 545 00:20:38,196 --> 00:20:39,781 - Hmm. They both sound great. 546 00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:43,618 [keyboard clicking] Okay. 547 00:20:43,702 --> 00:20:46,037 [harsh clacking] 548 00:20:46,121 --> 00:20:49,708 Molly! Computer help, ASAFP! 549 00:20:52,002 --> 00:20:54,379 - Erin, did this call-- - Uh! 550 00:20:54,462 --> 00:20:56,548 Sorry. I just-- I saw your face. 551 00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:59,634 - Oh. I'm sorry. It's for the thing. 552 00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:01,594 - I know. That's great. It just--it makes it look like 553 00:21:01,678 --> 00:21:03,805 there's an eyebrow in the middle of your face. 554 00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:05,348 - Wow. 555 00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:07,183 - A handsome eyebrow, but, um... 556 00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:09,269 it makes your mouth look like an eye socket, 557 00:21:09,352 --> 00:21:11,438 which isn't bad. - Uh-huh. 558 00:21:11,563 --> 00:21:14,607 - But, um, you look like a cyclops whose eye... 559 00:21:14,733 --> 00:21:16,693 fell out... 560 00:21:16,818 --> 00:21:18,236 which is great. 561 00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:21,031 It's such a great cause. 562 00:21:21,114 --> 00:21:22,449 - Yeah. - [chuckles] 563 00:21:26,661 --> 00:21:31,041 - ? Mommy, you're a princess ? 564 00:21:31,124 --> 00:21:35,378 ? Mommy, you're a superstar ? 565 00:21:35,462 --> 00:21:39,007 ? Mommy, you're the greatest ? 566 00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:43,219 ? How can I ever fill your sho-o-o-es? ? 567 00:21:43,261 --> 00:21:46,181 [sustaining note] 568 00:21:46,306 --> 00:21:47,515 - Wow. 569 00:21:47,599 --> 00:21:50,060 Your voice is as lovely as ever. 570 00:21:50,143 --> 00:21:51,728 - Aw. 571 00:21:51,853 --> 00:21:53,646 - And it is so cute how she signs her name. 572 00:21:53,730 --> 00:21:54,939 - [chuckles] 573 00:21:55,023 --> 00:21:56,316 Well, that--that was-- that was me too. 574 00:21:56,441 --> 00:21:58,026 - Oh, okay. 575 00:21:58,151 --> 00:22:00,695 It's just that's how Cece does it with the backwards "E"s. 576 00:22:00,779 --> 00:22:03,323 - Cece can't spell her name. - Oh, actually, she can. 577 00:22:03,365 --> 00:22:04,991 - Well, it's not really much of a comparison, is it? 578 00:22:05,116 --> 00:22:07,702 I mean, "Cece" is two letters, and "Astrid" is... 579 00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:09,704 I mean, there's even some adults who-- 580 00:22:09,829 --> 00:22:11,581 who--who can't spell it. 581 00:22:11,623 --> 00:22:14,709 - Of course. - Can you spell it? 582 00:22:14,793 --> 00:22:15,960 Try to spell it, Pam. 583 00:22:16,086 --> 00:22:19,756 - Um... "A"... 584 00:22:19,798 --> 00:22:23,301 "X"? I don't--you got me. 585 00:22:23,343 --> 00:22:24,969 - Don't patronize me. 586 00:22:25,053 --> 00:22:26,179 - [whispering] I'm so sorry. 587 00:22:26,304 --> 00:22:27,806 I hate this. You're better. 588 00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:29,474 - Astrid will be fine. 589 00:22:29,557 --> 00:22:31,768 My sperm donor was a Caltech physicist. 590 00:22:31,851 --> 00:22:33,895 Your sperm donor sells paper. 591 00:22:33,978 --> 00:22:36,564 - By my "sperm donor," do you mean my husband, Jim? 592 00:22:36,690 --> 00:22:39,192 - I'm just saying your sperm was free. 593 00:22:39,317 --> 00:22:41,069 ? You get what you pay for ? 594 00:22:41,194 --> 00:22:42,696 - Well, Jim and I love each other, 595 00:22:42,821 --> 00:22:44,614 so that's gotta be worth something. 596 00:22:44,698 --> 00:22:46,574 - So now you're saying that I'm unlovable. 597 00:22:46,658 --> 00:22:48,201 That's what you're--that's what you're basically saying. 598 00:22:48,284 --> 00:22:49,661 - I'm very sorry. - Right? 599 00:22:49,744 --> 00:22:51,413 - I--I am-- - I mean, is that it, Pam? 600 00:22:51,496 --> 00:22:53,039 - No. I'm-- - 'Cause that's--okay. 601 00:22:53,164 --> 00:22:54,416 - I'm sorry. - No, I hear it. 602 00:22:54,457 --> 00:22:55,834 I hear it. 603 00:22:55,917 --> 00:22:57,836 - Do you have another one of these? 604 00:22:57,919 --> 00:22:59,295 The slideshows? - Yes, I do. 605 00:22:59,379 --> 00:23:01,256 - Let's--let's see it. - Molly! 606 00:23:02,966 --> 00:23:04,175 - [whispering] Okay, we should go now. 607 00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:05,593 Let's go. - [stammering wildly] 608 00:23:05,635 --> 00:23:06,886 Just wait. 609 00:23:07,012 --> 00:23:10,265 Just a minute. Just watch. 610 00:23:10,390 --> 00:23:12,017 [scoffs] 611 00:23:14,144 --> 00:23:15,562 - Wait. Why are you-- 612 00:23:15,603 --> 00:23:18,231 oh, are you getting your jollies right now? 613 00:23:18,356 --> 00:23:20,900 Can't get enough of the show? 614 00:23:20,984 --> 00:23:23,361 Your jollies are all on fire-- - Please. 615 00:23:23,445 --> 00:23:24,821 It's Robert who's enjoying it. 616 00:23:24,904 --> 00:23:26,406 - What? 617 00:23:26,489 --> 00:23:28,074 - This could be the affair that you're scared of. 618 00:23:28,199 --> 00:23:29,951 Politicians are wonderful liars. 619 00:23:30,076 --> 00:23:31,870 You never know who they really are. 620 00:23:35,415 --> 00:23:38,043 But, uh, he's probably not gay. 621 00:23:38,084 --> 00:23:40,795 He's straight. He's straight, so... 622 00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:46,801 - Mm. Excuse me. Could I get some more water? 623 00:23:46,926 --> 00:23:48,803 - No. 624 00:23:48,928 --> 00:23:50,388 - Jan... 625 00:23:50,472 --> 00:23:52,557 you thought I had no more cards left to play. 626 00:23:52,599 --> 00:23:55,518 Well, I've got one. Man-Boy! 627 00:23:55,643 --> 00:23:57,312 The ace of babes. 628 00:23:57,437 --> 00:23:58,813 - Oh, my God. 629 00:23:58,897 --> 00:24:01,149 - Where's the Quiznos? 630 00:24:01,232 --> 00:24:03,485 - You're the Quiznos. [chuckles] 631 00:24:03,568 --> 00:24:05,612 Jan, may I introduce to you 632 00:24:05,737 --> 00:24:08,114 your own personal Dunder Mifflin liaison, 633 00:24:08,239 --> 00:24:09,949 devoted to servicing this account 634 00:24:09,991 --> 00:24:12,869 with total client satisfaction. 635 00:24:12,911 --> 00:24:15,830 I sensed that Molly wasn't quite 636 00:24:15,914 --> 00:24:18,249 meeting your needs-- 637 00:24:18,375 --> 00:24:22,796 nothing like, uh, your old assistant... 638 00:24:22,921 --> 00:24:25,924 Hunter. Was that his name? 639 00:24:26,049 --> 00:24:27,550 - I-I-- - Hmm? 640 00:24:27,676 --> 00:24:28,927 - I don't recall. 641 00:24:28,968 --> 00:24:31,096 And, yes, Molly is crap. 642 00:24:31,179 --> 00:24:33,306 - Okay, you do not have to do this. 643 00:24:33,390 --> 00:24:36,559 - Do what? Get into sales? That's what I want. 644 00:24:36,643 --> 00:24:39,896 - He's been growing that mustache for weeks. 645 00:24:40,021 --> 00:24:41,564 Best he can do. 646 00:24:41,690 --> 00:24:43,692 So young. 647 00:24:45,527 --> 00:24:47,070 - Will you, uh... 648 00:24:47,195 --> 00:24:48,613 [clicks tongue] You. 649 00:24:48,697 --> 00:24:50,448 Can you turn around for me, please? 650 00:24:53,118 --> 00:24:54,202 Dwight, you can go. 651 00:24:54,285 --> 00:24:55,620 I will call you in a week or so 652 00:24:55,704 --> 00:24:57,163 and let you know whether I want your business. 653 00:24:57,288 --> 00:24:58,623 - Very good. 654 00:25:01,918 --> 00:25:04,921 - Do you have a valid passport? 655 00:25:04,963 --> 00:25:08,091 [telephone rings] 656 00:25:08,174 --> 00:25:09,843 - Jim Halpert. - Hey, it's Colin. 657 00:25:09,884 --> 00:25:13,138 - Hey, man. I am so sorry about that. 658 00:25:13,221 --> 00:25:14,180 - I know. Don't worry about it. 659 00:25:14,264 --> 00:25:15,598 - [laughs] 660 00:25:15,724 --> 00:25:17,934 - It's just-- it's not totally working. 661 00:25:18,018 --> 00:25:19,394 - Yeah. No, I know. 662 00:25:19,436 --> 00:25:21,896 This whole telecommuting thing--not ideal. 663 00:25:22,022 --> 00:25:23,398 But don't worry. I'll figure it out. 664 00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:25,442 - Yeah, well, it's not just not ideal. 665 00:25:25,525 --> 00:25:27,027 I mean, with you there, 666 00:25:27,110 --> 00:25:28,987 I don't know how we're gonna do this. 667 00:25:32,198 --> 00:25:35,118 - Uh, what does-- what does that mean? 668 00:25:35,243 --> 00:25:36,661 - Oh, hey, Molly. 669 00:25:36,703 --> 00:25:38,663 Um, you should just quit. 670 00:25:38,788 --> 00:25:39,622 - Yeah. - Yeah. 671 00:25:39,664 --> 00:25:41,332 - Thanks. - Okay. 672 00:25:41,416 --> 00:25:43,877 Oh, and, Molly. 673 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:46,171 I know it can't be easy working for Jan. 674 00:25:46,212 --> 00:25:47,839 Good luck with your feelings. 675 00:25:51,092 --> 00:25:54,512 - Dwight, that was really nice. 676 00:25:54,554 --> 00:25:56,473 You should ask for her number. 677 00:25:56,598 --> 00:25:58,600 - Oh, I got her number. 678 00:25:58,725 --> 00:26:00,226 415-YCL. 679 00:26:00,310 --> 00:26:02,103 - That's a license number. 680 00:26:02,187 --> 00:26:03,563 - That's all you need. 681 00:26:03,646 --> 00:26:05,648 And when I have curried favor with her, 682 00:26:05,690 --> 00:26:07,275 I will let you know. 683 00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:09,110 - Oh. Why me? 684 00:26:09,194 --> 00:26:10,987 - Because you are my friend. 685 00:26:11,029 --> 00:26:13,531 And you are a woman. 686 00:26:13,573 --> 00:26:15,909 And women love gossip. 687 00:26:16,034 --> 00:26:17,202 It's like air to you people. 688 00:26:17,285 --> 00:26:18,620 Ugh. God. 689 00:26:18,661 --> 00:26:21,539 [retching] 690 00:26:21,664 --> 00:26:24,000 - Oscar, what is happening here? 691 00:26:24,125 --> 00:26:26,419 Why would you say you think the Senator might be gay? 692 00:26:26,503 --> 00:26:28,630 - I don't know, Angela. I'm dehydrated. 693 00:26:28,755 --> 00:26:29,839 Maybe... 694 00:26:29,881 --> 00:26:30,924 you heard me wrong. 695 00:26:31,007 --> 00:26:32,300 We should just go. 696 00:26:32,425 --> 00:26:34,010 - Look, look, look. Here he comes. 697 00:26:34,052 --> 00:26:35,303 - Here he comes. 698 00:26:38,723 --> 00:26:40,850 - What is he doing? - He's making a phone call. 699 00:26:40,975 --> 00:26:43,019 - Oh, oh! 700 00:26:43,144 --> 00:26:45,772 [phone vibrates, rings] 701 00:26:58,868 --> 00:27:00,286 - Oh, guys. 702 00:27:00,328 --> 00:27:01,621 I just came from Sasha's school. 703 00:27:01,746 --> 00:27:02,872 Let wouldn't let me pick her up. 704 00:27:02,956 --> 00:27:05,500 They wouldn't even let me on the playground. 705 00:27:05,542 --> 00:27:07,002 A group of moms chased me down the street. 706 00:27:07,085 --> 00:27:08,586 - I'm sorry. 707 00:27:08,628 --> 00:27:10,630 But I also completely understand. 708 00:27:14,968 --> 00:27:16,678 - Hey. 709 00:27:16,803 --> 00:27:18,847 Your mustache. 710 00:27:18,972 --> 00:27:20,515 Oh, bro. 711 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:22,142 - Yeah, shoot. 712 00:27:22,267 --> 00:27:23,893 Uh, you know, it's just a habit at work-- 713 00:27:23,935 --> 00:27:25,395 my afternoon shave. 714 00:27:25,437 --> 00:27:27,313 I'll donate double. 715 00:27:27,439 --> 00:27:29,482 - I was gonna shave off my mustache today 716 00:27:29,566 --> 00:27:30,942 'cause of the school incident, you know? 717 00:27:31,026 --> 00:27:34,154 But, ahh. 718 00:27:34,237 --> 00:27:37,115 We can't lose two. 719 00:27:37,282 --> 00:27:41,453 Maybe I'll pick my daughter up tomorrow wearing a ski mask. 720 00:27:41,494 --> 00:27:44,205 Yeah. That should do it. 721 00:27:46,082 --> 00:27:48,793 Clark, you're not shaving your stache, are you? 722 00:27:48,877 --> 00:27:50,420 - Um... 723 00:27:50,545 --> 00:27:52,130 - Absolutely not. 724 00:27:52,213 --> 00:27:53,840 Get in. 725 00:28:00,847 --> 00:28:03,058 [engine revs] 726 00:28:03,108 --> 00:28:07,658 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0